


Disco Fever

by Missy



Category: Archer (Cartoon), Burn Notice
Genre: Blow Jobs, Humor, M/M, Mommy Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-09
Updated: 2011-08-09
Packaged: 2017-10-22 10:34:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/237157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael Westen will go to some amazing lengths to keep his mission from blowing apart.  Including blowing Sterling Archer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disco Fever

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Porn Battle XII, prompt: Crossover, Archer Burn Notice, Sterling Archer/Michael Westen, mother, spy, handy. Thanks to Amber for beta!

Michael Westen rolled his eyes as he stared at the dial of his watch. His contact was late – very late. Incredibly late. And naturally, he arrived with a flip camera.

“Look,” Michael grunted, “we’re going to have to get this flawlessly correct. Don’t make any sudden moves or I’ll have to shoot you. Got it?”

“Riiight,” Archer replied. “Hey, do these things fire real bullets?”

“WATCH WHERE YOU’RE POINTING THAT, PLEASE,” Michael demanded. A red trigger sight popped up on his forehead and he groaned. “Don’t you know how to handle a Rugger?”

“Duh,” Archer insisted. And blew a hole through the back pants pocket of their Albanian guide.

****

They were holed up in what was once a very swanky little disco; Michael could almost make out the pattern of foot treads on the floor. Archer was trying to get some ‘tunes’ on the sound system, which hadn’t worked since Communism was in favor. He ended up trying pseudo karate chops and disco slides to the sound of bombs whistling in the distance, while Michael rolled his eyes and tried to follow to the muted beat in Archer’s head.

“Oh wait, I totally saw this in a Bond movie,” he said, reaching out and grabbing Michael. “Dip, dip and sliiiiideee!”

“I’m not a disco princess,” Michael said, rolling his eyes.

“You are tonight, man.”

Michael rolled his eyes and followed the steps.

***

Somehow they dug a bottle of old rotgut out of the basement. Michael was relentlessly sober by the time Archer drunkenly strip-teased his way across the floor. And Michael Westen – Mr. Superspy – followed just to keep order. He ended up blowing him against the back wall of the disco to silence Archer while Turner and Fi made an arms deal across the hall.

And Michael – who had once charmed a dignitary into giving him a suitcase nuke by milking his balls – managed to hold Archer off until the room was empty. Then he swallowed the bitter dregs of his come.

“Oh, mother!”

Michael popped an eye open. “Uh…”

Archer’s eyes were squeezed tightly shut, and he didn’t seem to hear what Michael was saying. “Uh…what?”

“Thanks for ruining the mood.” He flushed the sour-salty briny taste out of his mouth with a swig of scotch.

“I didn’t do it on purpose.” Then, more tentatively, “was your mom a psycho bitch too?”

“More like passive-aggressive, but in a cheerful way.”

Archer grinned. “This feels like the beginning of an okay friendship.”

“Beautiful friendship.”

“Whatever. Do I look like Roger Ebert to you?”


End file.
